Overcoming Fear and Finding Freedom
Overcoming fear is something we all experience.
Fear is to be afraid of something that is likely to be painful or harmful. It’s an emotion created by our brain when we are in threat of danger. Fear is the reason we are here today, fear kept us safe from harm. It is what helped our ancestors survived enemies, predators and danger. So, even though we don’t face the dangers that are likely to take our life and cause harm why are we still paralysed by fear every day? Because while life has evolved our brain hasn’t.
The fears that used to harm our physical body aren’t something we are exposed to often, the brain can’t tell the difference between real and perceived and anything that our brain perceives as fear will cause the same reaction as a hungry tiger wanting to eat you.
Unfortunately, situations that caused fear at any stage of our life create pathways in the brain to learn that danger and, react when we are exposed to that danger again.
Those pathways or memories are what stop us moving forward, they are red lights that warn us danger is coming and, our brain will create responses in the body that are incredibly hard to fight through. Fears make us what to quit, turn around and go back, they force us to question ourselves, prevent us from going within to deal with parts of ourselves that cause pain.
Fear can be deep within us and can cause us to act and react in ways that we don’t recognise as coming from us.
Fears won’t go away until you become aware of them, embrace them and release them so that you can rewire your brain with new pathways.
Where does ‘fear’ come from?
Our brain is very reactive. At every moment of every day it is scanning our environment checking for danger, we just aren’t aware of it.
Most of the fears and trauma we hold in our body is subconscious and that’s because our brain is preventing us from consciously feeling it and feeling the pain of it.
Fears are implanted into the body through conditioning, trauma and the values of others.
From the moment we are born we are taught to act, think, do and be a certain way, most often the way that is approved of by those around us. Not only that, we have to face the beliefs of those around us as well as any pain or trauma that is inflicted on us.
While many of the messages we receive as we grow are positive, many aren’t and, those fears will hold you back from living the life that you were meant to live. They can get in the way of us being who we truly are, living our purpose and our passion and creating the life that we are here to create. Fear stops you living life to your highest level, will hold you back from taking up opportunities, will chain you to lack of self worth and confidence, will hold you to things that happened to you sometimes many years ago. All in the name of keeping you safe.
Breaking away from that conditioning can be challenging especially if we aren’t even aware of what our unconscious is saying to us but the first step is awareness. Knowing what is stopping you is the key to the door of freedom to live your true self.
Overcoming fear with awareness
‘Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’ – Carl Jung
We can’t change what we are not aware of. We can remain blissfully ignorant to our fears for many years even our whole life. When we are in fear we are paralysed into that space where that fear occurred. You may not be aware of it but, until we become aware, heal and release your mind, body and heart is going to judge your experiences based on that fear.
90 to 95% of our brain activity is unconscious meaning that we don’t have any awareness of it however, that doesn’t mean we don’t have access to it.
Here are 3 of the most powerful channels into your fears.
1. Self Talk
Pay attention to your emotions & thoughts. Many people go through life with their emotions controlling them completely unaware of what is driving their thoughts and feelings. These experiences are the language of the subconscious, emotions come in response to what is going on around us, triggers are a reaction from our nervous system towards something that is exposing us to a fear and our thoughts are the best way to see where our mindset and heartset is at.
Do you pay attention to these 3 things? When your mind runs off in negative thought patters do you notice? Do you tell yourself off for them? Or do you stop to explore what is actually going on?
Triggers are a gift to you. Triggers are the emotional reaction that occurs when we are exposed to something that exposes a fear. If someone brings conflict into your life, or, does something that causes you hurt or anger or judgement this is an amazing opportunity to dive into your unconscious and find that thing that is causing it. You may need to dig deep, really deep but understand what that person is doing to you right now isn’t truly what’s upsetting you, it’s the situation in your past that made you feel like that.
3. Self discovery
Self discovery is a journey into your truth, to who you really are beyond the fears, the pain, the trauma, the conditioning. Behind your fears is a powerful being that has the power to live a powerful life.
This journey is not an easy one. Through it you will find things about yourself that you probably don’t like much, you’ll find fears, experiences that were traumatic to you, shadows that are holding you back. Then, once you have found them the work to release them begins and allows you to life a life on purpose with your authentic self.
And remember, your personal challenges mean personal growth
‘If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you’ – unknown
Challenges are an inevitable part of growth. Self discovery can be an incredibly tricky process as we navigate our wounds, shadows and fears.
Why do this? Well, this journey isn’t for someone who wants to remain comfortably numb but this journey is for someone who knows that within them is the ability to expand into the journey to highest state of being – pure joy, love and the ability to fully experience the sacredness of this life.
That greatness might manifest as success, or a deeper connection with yourself, or more authentic relationships, or a more joyful experience of motherhood but for whatever you do this for, self discovery
Also remember, most fear isn’t real
What? We’ve discussed fear and how it’s locked into the body and now I’m saying it’s not real?
It’s real in the mind but, the true reality of it is that most fears are created.
Fear is actually something we create to lock ourselves into safety because our brain wants to keep us from harm and most of what we experience today isn’t out to eat us or maim us or kill us, but, our body will still react in the same way because of what our mind creates based on what we’ve experienced.
If you’ve had an experience of rejection that is incredibly raw or, hasn’t been healed then any circumstance where you could be rejected will cause the brain to make up stories to keep you from that harm.
If you feel a strong lack of worth then the brain will prevent you from experiencing the pain again.
So if you have fears or triggers coming up ask yourself;
‘Where have I felt like this before?’
‘Why is this person familiar to me?’
‘How is this fear serving me?’
Get to the heart of the fear and you will find what you’re experiencing right now in this moment may not be what you think it is.
Embody your sensuality and surrender to the experience of life
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