9 Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back from Manifesting Your Dream Life
Stepping into our power and fully manifesting your dream life can be an incredibly tricky process as we navigate our wounds, shadows and fears.
The journey of stepping into your power isn’t for someone who wants to remain comfortably numb but this journey is for someone who knows that within them is the ability to expand into the journey to highest state of being – pure joy, love and the ability to fully experience the sacredness of this life.
That greatness might manifest as success, or a deeper connection with yourself, or more authentic relationships, or a more joyful experience of motherhood but for whatever you do this for, self discovery.
Here are 9 limiting beliefs that may be standing between you and manifesting your dream life…
Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job than you – Unknown
Although we are all unique and each have our own gifts we spend much of our life looking to others to judge and compare where we are at. Despite each person on this earth having our own unique experiences, our own unique chemistry, our own unique tolerance even our own unique DNA we still peer into the lives of others to compare when in reality we ARE all unique.
Now we are all on the internet and have access to social media we are faced with the perfect lives of others every day. Even when we don’t necessarily go looking we see how much happier, more beautiful and successful others while we are slogging it out in fear and facing challenges that no one else is.
Familiar? How does this serve us?
We keep ourselves in fear by comparing ourselves to others who we judge as doing better than us. We keep ourselves safe by comparing ourselves to others and convincing ourselves that we will never be as beautiful, talented, amazing, confident, sexy or powerful
Comparing ourselves to others creates dense negative emotions like jealousy, envy, self loathing, self disgust and apprehension. It causes us to unfairly judge ourselves.
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others?
How do you judge yourself based on what others are doing?
Where do you feel it in your body when you perceive someone as doing better than you?
Why do you truly go and search for people to compare to?
Instead of falling watching others come back into yourself and when you fall into comparison shift into comparing yourself with yourself. Look to where you were in your past and, compare yourself to who you are now. How have you grown? What challenges have you broken through? What have you created because of the growth? What have you learnt from the lessons you have grown through? What can you do now that you could do X weeks/months/years ago?
We can become more in every moment of every day, but when we compare ourselves we go into a dense place of contraction. Come back into expansion by focusing on your own growth and your own gifts.
‘I choose to compare myself to only myself. I give myself permission to become more in every moment’
What is love? Love is the absence of judgement’ – Dalai Lama Judgement is one of the most harmful things that we create every day yet, we live in judgement so much of the time.
Whether they are judgements on ourselves or, judgements on others.
Judgements on ourselves kill our confidence, reduce our self worth, kill our joy and, keep us in a permanent state of contraction.
Judgements like ‘I’m never enough’, ‘I’m an idiot’, ‘I’m useless’, ‘I’ll never succeed’, ‘I’m not talented’, ‘I can’t do as well as they are’ might be running through your head every single day, and you may not even be aware of it because you’re so numb to your own judgements.
Here’s the thing – ALL judgements are a reflection of the heart of the person making the judgement.
If you are judging yourself you are judging others
If you are judging others you will attract judgement from others.
If others are judging you then you will have negative emotions and go into contraction which is likely to cause more judgements on yourself and, more projection of negative emotions onto others when it actually begins with you.
Your mindstate attracts that energy because like attracts like.
Why are we so quick to judge? That’s actually a survival mechanism too. Our brain is constantly assessing our environment to keep us safe, but what used to be a something that protected has become something incredibly damaging to us and our connection with the world.
We judge others on their appearance, behaviour, beliefs, values, interactions, likes and dislikes, the way they talk to us or others, what they eat… the list goes on.
What if we looked beyond what we saw? Even in ourselves?
What if we asked ourselves ‘what have they been through to believe/say/do/be that?’ or ‘I have been through so much and I forgive myself’
What if we could look at someone with a heart of openness, compassion, forgiveness and love instead of judgement?
What if we could look into the eyes of another person and see that they have their own story and their own challenges?
What if we believed in leaving every interaction with the other person feeling better about themselves instead of feeling judged?
What if we stopped to understand that the judgement others place on us is simply how they feel about themselves?
How much love would there be if we could life without judgement?
By releasing judgements you will free your heart and soul to speak your truth, share your heart and step into your power. When you are free of judgements you will have more space for positive mantra’s that will encourage growth, joy and love.
‘I release all judgements I place on myself and others’
‘we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love’ – Brene Brown
Vulnerability is allowing the world to see YOU. It’s sharing who you truly are with the world without holding the fear of judgement.
Vulnerability is challenging because for most of us, it’s associated with some sort of pain or shame because unfortunately when someone is vulnerable someone, who is in pain may step in and take advantage of that but, that’s one of those pathways that needs to be rewired because vulnerability will have powerful impact on the world around you. You will invite more authenticity in your life because you are being more authentic.
Be brave, because under the image people work so hard at projecting are broken hearts and fears and personal judgements just like our own. Share them and you will find a tribe of people who can be vulnerable and raw and real together. When you completely open your heart you allow people to truly see you magic happens and when you share your shadows and your light you give empower others to open their heart so the world can truly see them. This type of connection is incredibly beautiful and powerful. It is bliss.
4. Being Vulnerable vs. Being a burden
Many confuse being vulnerable with being a burden. When you share your story from a sensitive place, sharing your feelings and opening your heart, when share your emotions and experiences you will connect authentically and you are being vulnerable. When you dump your stories and your emotions onto someone expecting sympathy, support or someone to fix you then you are being a burden.
Vulnerability is coming from a place of heart, burdening is coming from a place of wounding.
How is lack of vulnerability holding you back from freedom? Because you are denying your truth to the world, because your connections aren’t as authentic as they could be, because authenticity supports trust, because you aren’t admitting your shadows to the world or even yourself which will halt your growth,
‘I give myself permission to open my heart, speak my truth and be vulnerable’
What do you think about money? Is it a positive or negative thing? Do you think they are unreachable and you don’t deserve them?
Believe it or not your mindset towards money could be attracting or reflecting your success and the abundance or money block is very common.
Money is another thing that we get a lot of conditioning around and many people grow up hearing that money is hard to get, it’s evil, you’re selfish if you want it, you aren’t truly serving your purpose if you’re doing it for money, it’s unethical to want to make money… Do any of these statements make you feel at home? This conditioning takes place without us even being aware of it, and the media propels that message forward into our lives everyday.
Money doesn’t have to be hard to get and it’s only our perception of money and our reasons for obtaining it which will take it to a positive or negative place. If you have a lot of money and you have a negative mindset around it then money can only bring you to a negative place. If you have a positive mindset around money and what it can bring in life then money will bring you a positive experience in life.
‘I attract abundance and I give myself permission to shine’
6. Self worth
‘True power is the ability not to have to please’
When you truly and deeply love and accept yourself absolutely nothing can stop you. Everything you do everyday is driven by your love for yourself and your belief in yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, others can’t love you either, if you don’t respect yourself then others can’t.
Unfortunately, we’ve grown up with messages that it’s a negative thing to love ourselves, that it’s vain and self centred to celebrate ourselves and that lack of love is shaping people who feel trapped, lost and disconnected.
We’re also taught that parts of us are ‘bad’ or negative and then when those ‘negative’ aspects come forth we punish ourselves for it and tell ourselves we are wrong, we are bad and then we set ourselves up for negative self talk, poor reactions and more to feel bad about. We really are very good at making ourselves feel very bad! What if you were absolutely perfect JUST the way you are? Maybe not flawless but you ARE perfect the way you are because you’re you. What if your negative and positive made you who you are? Made you the beautiful whole being that you are meant to be? You can’t be anyone else because everyone else is taken so can you imagine being totally in love with yourself? Proud of yourself?
You will NEVER be flawless so why waste all that energy trying to be? And why wait until you wake up flawless one day because that is NEVER going to happen, not because you aren’t amazing but because flawless isn’t real and it isn’t achievable and it isn’t authentic. The more you try to be flawless and the more you try to be something you’re not the further you get from who you truly are.
When you are free to be you and love yourself, when you step into your personal power, when you shine brightly you will give others permission to do the same. When you deeply love and accept yourself you can celebrate who you are and be free to be your authentic self.
Know that no one can hurts us unless we allow it and if someone says something that hurts us, it’s an amazing opportunity to find a weak spot and explore that.
Everyday stand in front of your mirror and come to a place of stillness. Take 7 deep breaths, with each breath bring in a deeper connection to yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and connect with yourself to an even deeper level. Just BE. Then say to yourself, to your heart ‘I deeply love and accept myself’ 7 times, or as many times as you can at first. You may raise some emotion. You might cry, you may get angry, you get frustrated, you might start thinking and feeling things that you were trying to forget. Just let it flow, that’s important. Let it out and keep doing this every day until you can easily say it AND mean it.
‘I deeply love and accept myself’
Whether you think you can or you can’t you’re right – Henry Ford
Self belief is going to shape your life. It’s the key to your success in EVERYTHING. You can ONLY go as far as you believe you can. How many things have you avoided or pushed back and back because you didn’t believe you could do it, or do it successfully? How many things did you avoid doing because you were worried you were going to fail? How many times have you knocked back opportunity because you didn’t think you could pull it off? How often are you hiding from your dreams because you don’t think you are good enough?
Imagine what you could create if you knew you couldn’t fail?
From now be aware of the self talk and listen carefully. Watch for any reactions or behaviours that might be related to negative self talk, if you catch yourself doing something that is blocking your freedom stop and tell yourself you aren’t going to listen to that anymore. Start changing the messages to yourself by using affirmations and mantras, words have power and by using words you can slowly begin to change your perception of yourself.
8. Belief vs. Decision
Many people say they BELIEVE in what they are reaching for, but, they haven’t actually made a decision to create it. What stops them? An underlying lack of believe in themselves.
Create a clear vision of yourself in your full power. Close your eyes and see yourself living your dreams, doing what you dream of doing, standing in your personal power and being authentic. What does it look like? What does it feel like? How would you use those powers? How would you make the world a better place with your powers?
When you believe in yourself you can create anything.
‘I choose to believe in me’
‘I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become’ – Carl Jung
Do you have a story that you like to tell about yourself? Are you attached to an experience or fear? Are there stories that you hold onto day in and day out telling over and over and over? Possibly using them as your excuses about why you can’t succeed?
That is attachment and it’s time to let all of that go because it DOES NOT serve you.
Our stories can become our emotional baggage that we lug about everywhere and can use as a reason why we didn’t take up an opportunity, or grow, or better ourselves in life. It’s a way of anchoring us into our comfort zone and remove accountability from ourselves to place it on another person or situation.
‘I wish I could do this but…’ ‘I would have been able go but…’ ‘I didn’t have the opportunity to do that because…’, ‘My XXX did this to me and that is why XXX’, ‘I just don’t have the talent’, ‘I’m too XXX’
We all have stories that we have collected over our lives and all of us have had good and bad things happen to us but that doesn’t mean we need to be attached to those stories and take them everywhere flaunting them about and pulling them out when stuff gets real and we start to get a bit uncomfortable.
What are you really attached to?
- A person?
- Job or situation?
- Way of thinking?
How is attachment holding you back from freedom? It’s anchoring you to your stories, your excuses, your reasons not to spread your wings and fly. We are incredibly safe in those stories and excuses but, they are also like a prison that bar the way to shining.
Use your experiences as a way of creating a stronger, more powerful, experienced you rather than a reason for you not to succeed.
‘I give myself permission to release what doesn’t serve me’
Grab a notebook and ask yourself these HEART OPENING questions
What is my biggest fear/hurt/challenge here?
What is truly happening here?
What emotions are coming up here?
What obstacles are in the way here?
How do I feel about myself?
Is this my truth?
Love & light
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